I kind of miss being a kid...

Most of the time being a grown up is ok, and I use that term "grown up" rather loosely when I talk about myself. I'm still sort of a kid, I act like one most of the time and I'm pretty damn immature.

But around this time of year, it's hard not to miss being a full on kid.

I remember when I was five, Santa brought me a Honda QA50. Dude, it wasn't the fastest thing around but it was a hell of a lot of fun for a little kid.

I wasn't afraid of anything as a youngster. I would try anything at least once. Much more if I didn't wind up in the emergency room. That happened several times.

While I accept 50% of the blame for my recklessness, the other half rests squarely on the shoulders of my parents. They used to take me and my sister to events like motorcycle races, demolition derbies and my favorite, the Thrill Show in the Astrodome.

I saw Debbie Lawler jump Chevy Pickups in 1974. Holy smokes, she was HOT! I got in line for her autograph about 5 times. She recognized me on the 3rd or 4th and the last time she gave me a kiss. I was  the happiest kid in the whole Dome.

I saw Gary Wells jump there also. I don't remember the year for that one though.

It wasn't long after I got the QA50 that I began setting up ramps in our front yard and jumping wagons and bicycles and other stuff. I don't know if I ever aspired to be a professional motorcycle jumper, I didn't usually think that far ahead, but it was a lot of fun.

I don't get it...

We recently had a very popular weatherman in the Kansas City area take his own life. He leaves behind a wife and young daughter.

Most school kids you talk to these days either know someone who has killed themselves or know of someone.

I don't get it. Never, in all of my 48 years have I ever considered suicide. Never.

I know there are lots of people out there with problems, big ones. I've had my share too. I will never understand the logic behind it. I've talked to people who have attempted or thought suicide. They try to explain it to me, I don't get it. You don't come back from that.

I know some of it is self esteem related and other people just have mental issues. I have all kinds of weird shit floating around in my head. The Marine Corps told me I have a personality disorder, so I guess I have mental issues too, but to take my own life is not an option, out of the question, ain't gonna happen.

Self esteem issues are something I have never experienced. Due to my superior genetics, I am 9 feet tall and bullet proof and drop dead gorgeous.

This may be a stretch, but I think some of the problem is that we, as a society, are killing human interaction. We shop online, pay at the pump, text message, all without actually talking to another living person. We are social creatures by nature. We need interaction with other people to keep us sane, and to have as friends. It's kind of hard to confide in your iphone or xbox. And your 60" LCD TV sure can't give you a pep talk after you fail a test or miss out on a promotion.

We need friends, we need to see the look in someone's eyes, not the little emoticon they put at the end of their text message.

Maybe this is what people who feel death is the only way out of a bad situation need. Not a shrink, a friend, a neighbor, anybody. A person to talk to...

But then, maybe I don't know what the fuck I am talking about...